Preseason Week 1 Trend Report

Guys, I like a lot of stuff. But also, I hate a lot of stuff. Anything I am particularly high on one day, can become last years fad to me in an instant. It’s human nature, like being inquisitive, gossiping, or feeling delighted when Paul Rudd or Tom Hanks is in the movie you’re watching. So to keep track of the arbitrary way I feel about things, we’re gonna have this trend column where I’ll explain what is trending upwards or downwards in my brain. In the inaugural edition, we will shine a bright light on Week 1 of the preseason and we’ll talk about what I saw on the field that I thought mattered in a time where not much does.

Here are five things I liked and didn’t like about “Week 1”:

What’s Trending UP

1.DJ MOORE as a playmaker in Carolina’s offense this year

• It’s been far too long since the Panthers had a high talent level in their WR room, but the addition of D.J. Moore should help this team leave behind the label of “Cam Newton and co.”, and turn them into a really terrific unit. I mean, D.J. doesn’t have a super wide catch radius or anything, but I’m sure he is glad he was drafted where he was. His talent is obvious and with the ability make things happen after he catch (a la Steve Smith, but less physical), it should be tough sledding for defenses to try and stop him and Christian McCaffrey every week. I think I can hear his fantasy ADP rising somewhere in the distance as well.
  

2. The return of DESHAUN WATSON, ANDREW LUCK, and RYAN TANNEHILL

• The worst part of every football season the Patriots don’t win the Super Bowl in is always all the unfortunate injuries to star players. Last year, it took a few of the leagues brightest stars at QB and Ryan Tannehill. On Thursday, Andrew Luck, Deshaun Watson, and Lauren Tannehill’s husband threw their first passes of the season. For Luck and Tannehill, the first since 2016. Tannehill looked his usual Jekehill and Tannehyde self but wasn’t bothered by a knee that fell apart two Decembers ago. Luck, much like preseason playcalling, was very boilerplate. He took a few short passes and checkdowns and *Looks around* he even ran once during a scoring opening drive. Watson on the other hand only dropped back to pass once before Bill O’Brian gave him the hook. Still, it was nice to see him and the others step onto the field again after some gruesome injuries.

3. SHAQ GRIFFIN and SHAQ GRIFFIN having a moment together

• Shaquem Griffin, Seattle’s fifth round rookie, has already made a name for himself by defying the odds of playing in the NFL while handicapped with one hand. When he stepped onto CenturyLink Field on Thursday, he was able to share his accomplishment with one of his biggest fans: his brother – and Seahawks starting corner – Shaquill Griffin. Much was made by Shaq Tu’s four tackles in four plays, but the speedster out of Central Florida is really valuable on special teams. While Shaquem echoed modest statements made by Pete Carroll after the game, the younger Griffin should find his place in the middle of the defense. And isn’t this easier for the parents with kids that are on the same team? They won’t have to worry about any of those stupid jerseys that are cut in half to feature both teams. Where do people even get those things? I wanna know. Is there a vendor that makes them? Are they officially licensed NFL products? I need answers people.

4. Rookie QBs!

• A lot is being made about the current group of quality NFL quarterbacks and how there’s more of them than ever before. That narrative shouldn’t be going anywhere this year. All of the new QBs came out the packaging as billed. Josh Allen’s effortless arm strength was on display. He could probably throw it over a mountain! Josh Rosen was accurate, showed a quick release, and was nimble in the pocket. Sam Darnold probably saw all of those M. Night Shyamalan twists coming, because his anticipation was on display as was his athletic side. I think this Baker Mayfield guy has an underrated lazer. All of this may not amount to a great deal of wins for these guys, but it seems teams like the Browns and Jets finally have something to look forward to under center. Even Lamar Jackson’s innate playmaking ability could keep the Ravens relevant if 5 falters.

 5. My own personal fear of the 2018 Minnesota Vikings

• I’ve been having this recurring nightmare recently where I’m being chased through the woods by a murderous pack of Kirk Cousins, Dalvin Cook, and all eleven members of the defense. Full disclosure: your author is a Packers fan, and the thought of him seeing his team have to play a possible juggernaut squad maybe three times next year has him on edge. Cousins was sharp and the O marched the way you would want them to in their fist time on the field. Honestly this team scares me to death. I know, logically, that the Viking can’t have nice things – as demonstrated by the teams last, I dunno, 57 years? – but I just can’t help but believe that the team with the best defense in the league, a Pro-Bowl quarterback and a much more than serviceable wide receiver core won’t not get very far.

What’s trending DOWN

1.ANTONIO CALLAWAY not letting down the Browns

• Well it took all of about two weeks for the Antonio Callaway hype train to derail itself. The rookie wide receiver brought his troubles with him from Florida it seems, and now he’s embroiled in another drug scandal, only this time with a “I’m holding it for a friend” type story. As a matter of fact, the Browns whole WR room has really came down to earth since the spring when some were calling it one of the NFL’s best after the addition of Jarvis Landry. I mean, where in the world is Josh Gordon? I’m all for him taking time for himself to not spin back down into a life he is trying to escape. The problem is the Browns’, not his now, and it would have been nice to have Callaway step up after Gordon’s absence and the exiling of Corey Coleman to Buffalo. Ah well. ‘Tis the Browns.

2. 49ers injuries 

• Malcolm Smith. George Kittle. Solomon Thomas. Gary Gilliam. Matt Breida. These are the men who would probably be first in line to sign off on a couple less preseason games next fall. While none should be out for a significant amount of time, it is still presumably annoying for Niner fans to watch their team play its backups in the first quarter NOT BY CHOICE. We are all gonna need this team to stay healthy so we won’t hear an utterance of Jimmy Garoppolo – Wait. Garoppolo. Garoppolo. G-A-R-O-P-P-O-L-O okay just making sure I’m spelling that one right. Anyways – not succeeding only because of an inferior squad around him.

3. Titans uniforms

• Look, I like the addition of the blue helmets. It’s a good blue! But there’s just so much going on here. What’s with the light blue under the arms? And the Titan’s sword on the pants makes them look like they have big pockets on their pants. Also, why are the numbers so thin. They look like they’ll break off if they get hit too hard. The homes and the light blue alternates look a little better than the away jerseys, but it’s all in the detail when it comes to sports unis.
  

4. DERRIUS GUICE

• Man, it’s never easy for these guys, huh. I could probably field a pro-bowl team out of the players the Washington D.C. Football Club has placed on IR in the last 36 months. Add another talented name to the list. Rookie 2nd round pick Derrius Guice will not have the misfortune of helping his team reverse years of being the poster child for inadequacy the NFL. Hey, even the Bengals were making the playoffs there for a few years. This column shouldn’t turn into a rant on the worst owner in the league. I feel too bad for the young RB, and also, you can go to any D.C.-based sports website for that kind of #Content. Okay maybe we’ll do just a little bit. Would you believe that Donald Trump isn’t the most hated man in D.C.? Enter Dan Snyder: who won’t even have a chance to see his coaches put their best player back onto the field immediately after a devastating knee injury. Oh well, maybe next year?

5. My almost-ending quest to see meaningful, good football soon.

• Well the illusion that is the NFL preseason has come and gone for another week, and this time, it won’t fool me. I am already prepared for the REAL week one, and I’ve sort of had enough with the hollowness of the exhibition games. Let’s get Aaron Rodgers, Jalen Ramsey, Ezekiel Elliott, and Rob Gronkowski back under the lights and start doing all this for real. Should we just shut it down for the next three weeks until it’s go-time? I’m seriously considering it. Wait, Eagles-Pats on Thursday you say…